My last serious relationship was with a beautiful woman I will call Cecilia Valdés. She has the same name as the title of a famous 19th-century novel from Latin America. She made me laugh in great ways. She also could sing 80s pop tunes better than I could ever hope to. We had so much fun together that I was really falling for her. We started slowly and carefully reaching out toward each other. We would not go too fast.
We played together in many ways for months, but we were always a bit wary. I'm a born Southerner. She, a Nuyorican. She was almost 10 years younger. She knew that I was bisexual. She had a history, too, but not quite as varied as mine. Culture clashes often erupted, but they were always minor and eroded quickly.
We had what I had thought was a good thing for over a year. In the summer of 2001, she went home to be with her family. When she came back, she seemed a bit cooler to some of our (mis)adventures. After 9/11, she erected a wall. I was really into her in so many ways. Te quería muchísimo, Cecilia. ¡Arriba el telón! ¿Cómo te puedo amar?
On the fifth of October, we went to see a movie. We saw _Amelie_, a very sweet French movie that nearly brought us both to tears--the good kind, not the dumb, weepy, sad kind. I was so glad to have shared this with her in so many ways. Afterwards, we went back to her place and sat in the dark and talked for hours.
During those hours, she said that it was all too much for her at this point. I may have tried to understand, but I didn't at the time. I'm no monster; I'm no saint. Just another human stuck to this terrestrial ball hurtling through space. I cannot record her words with any justice, although the sentiment, if not the verbatim words, remain ingrained in my mind and heart even now, nearly 7 years past. She hoped that we could remain friends, but she just didn't think anything beyond that would be good for either of us at that historical moment.
We remain friends to this day, although our friendliness is nowhere nearly as intimate (emotionally) as it was before. What strikes me as funny even to this day is that she finally saw in me not a "boyfriend" but a "girlfriend."
Well, GIRRRRRRRL, PUH-LEEZ!!!!!!!!!
Nevertheless, I dedicate this post to my former "love" Cecilia Valdés. I hope that we may each anew find the magic that we seemed to share in our "Era una vez..."
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